For Those I Love, I Will Sacrifice
by Grayson0017
Summary: Lena realizes why she should have told Kara about the kryptonite sooner because someone has gotten a hold of it. Or Someone steals Lena's homemade kryptonite and Kara has to save Lena. Follows their journey to a healthier place.
1. Chapter 1

It was just a normal day, Lena had been sitting in meetings and trying her best to keep her mind at ease. Sam was safe now. She was free. But Lena couldn't shake the feeling something was off, something was wrong. She went through her day all the same though, she had even planned a lunch 'date' with Kara, something she had been missing these last couple of weeks. Kara had acted strangely the last time they had seen eachother, but Lena thought that must've just been the stress of worrying about Sam. At least she would get to see that smile again. Lena felt her heart flutter at the thought of talking to Kara. She had truly missed her best friend.

That is when it all started crashing down though. The lunch that was supposed to be a push in the right direction. A gateway back to normalcy. Kara and Lena were in the elevator, laughing and talking about what they've been up to, catching up. When an explosion stopped the elevator on its track. Once the recovered from the initial explosion force the women made eye contact and went into survival mode.

Kara could hear Lena's heart pounding out of her chest, knowing that this could very well be another attempt on her life. Kara scanned the surrounding area outside the elevator to try and get a grasp on the situation. Lena pulled out her phone to try and call for help but there was no service. They once again made eye contact and tried to calm one another with a look. Smoke started to crawl through the small seams of the elevator, and that is when Kara decided to knock out the top hatch of the elevator. Kara immediately cursed herself because she knew that no human would have been able to get that open that easily. Lena had noticed but attributed it to adrenaline. Kara got herself out into the shaft and reached down to help Lena up, making sure to act like she had normal human strength.

Once they were in the elevator shaft they could hear the gunfire, followed by screaming. Kara rushed to the latter and motioned for Lena to follow her.

"We don't know what we're dealing with Kara,"

"I have to do something,"

They reached the next level and managed to get the doors open without raising any suspicion. It was clear the shooting was on the floor above them. People were rushing to the stairwells trying to escape the building. Kara shared a glance with Lena, and silently they went back into the elevator shaft and went up to the next level, where the doors had been seared by what they both assumed to be the source of the earlier explosion.

Kara wanted to tell Lena to stay, to get out of there. To get safe. But she didn't want to raise anymore suspicions about her identity.

" _I wish I could tell her,"_ Kara thought as she entered the floor from the seared doors of the elevator.

She did a quick scan of the floor before moving anywhere else and found that there were indeed two gunmen and they were close. Kara instinctively grabbed Lena's hand and led her away from the gunman into her office, where she knew Lena had a safe room. Once they had gotten into her office and opened the safe room, Kara made sure Lena would call for help.

"Call Alex, stay here, don't move."

Lena's eyes searched Kara's for some sort of explanation.

"Kara, why are you saying that as if you're about to go fight the bad guys?"

Kara didn't answer her, she just kissed Lena's forehead, shut the door to the safe room and took off in the direction of the gunmen. She knew she was in bad shape when her x-ray vision started to blur. But as she approached the gunmen she kept feeling weaker, and she knew the reason. The gunmen had a case, and Kara assumed correctly what was in it. Kryptonite. She could feel the burn start to ache in her body. She needed a game plan.

…

Lena started to panic, she had called Alex but she wouldn't pick up. She assumed that she was already on her way, but that still didn't ease her nerves. She pulled up the CCTV footage from that floor, flipping until she found Kara, crouched under a desk in the room closest to the gunmen. She felt her heart drop, the woman she loved was voluntarily putting herself in danger. And Lena could do nothing about it, because her safe room operated in the way that the door was sealed for thirty minutes and then whoever was inside could unseal it. She was scared, for the first time in a long time she was genuinely, unabashedly afraid. She was afraid for Kara, the woman she loved but neglected to tell in order to save their friendship.

"Christ, Kara you better know what you're doing,"

…

Kara sat crouched under the desk for a while. Listening to the men. Her heart dropped when they finally acknowledged why they were here.

"We stole the kryptonite, we need to leave."

"No, Lex said that if we had the chance we had to kill his sister,"

"We don't even know if she's still here. Besides do you really want to chance an encounter with Supergirl?"

"Even if she did show up, the kryptonite we have here is the most potent kind. Even if she got a shard stuck in her hand she would die,"

Then gunmen made a move towards Lena's office with their guns raised. Another explosion went off two floors below them and the men looked at each other and nodded.

"We need to move fast," and with that they picked up there pace down the hallway towards Lena's office. Kara had to act and fast, she knew Lena would leave the second those thirty minutes were up. She'd be walking into a death trap. She followed the men into her office and she heard the camera in her office make the slightest movement. Lena was watching.

Kara had to think fast, it wouldn't be long until they figured out where her safe room was. She stood at the edge of Lena's office just out of sight of the men. She let a breath out and slowly took her glasses off her face, her eyes found the camera and Kara mouthed an apology, knowing that Lena would see. She hoped she would understand, even though Lena was done with Supergirl. She then stepped into the men's sightline.

"If you give me the kryptonite, I won't hurt you." Kara lead with, she slowly took steps toward them, trying to play off the weakness. The kryptonite was hitting her faster and harder than normal. She had to keep going though.

Kara didn't waste a moment more, pushing herself to speed to the couch and throw it at the gunmen, it only knocks one out but the other is determined. He lines up the shot but barely misses. The bullet still cuts through her skin though.

"Kryptonite lienes bullets, you can't win this,"

Kara's eyes leveled with the man's as if to accept a challenge. Kara knew how dangerous this would be. She had to win, no matter what, she had to keep Lena safe.

…

Alex and her team were racing to get to the top of Lcorp. From the voicemail Lena left, she knew that Kara was in danger.

"Alex, they already have the synthetic kryptonite, and from the CCTV it looks like they are facing off with Supergirl in Lena's office." Winn's voice was shaky over the comms, he tried his best to keep his cool. There had been a hundred situations like this involving kryptonite. He had faith in Kara. They all did.

Alex burst through stairwell after stairwell, letting the adrenaline push her to go faster and faster. She couldn't bare the thought of losing Kara. Not after everything they had been through this past year.

"Come on, Kara. Stall a little longer. I'm almost there,"

…

Kara continued to grow weaker with every hit. It seemed like for every hit she landed, he would land five more. This kryptonite was stronger than she thought. She finally lands a kick to the chest that sends him over the top of Lena's desk. Kara had to find a way to finish this before Lena unsealed her panic room. She vaulted over the desk and put her foot on his neck just under his chin.

"Give. Up." She said through her teeth, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice. The case was less than 8 feet away from her and she has begun to lose the fight against it.

"Never." the man said and took her legs out from under her. He rose from the ground and went to the case. He opened it to retrieve the weapon he was storing all along. A kryptonite knife.

"Now, since I can't find the CEO of this company, i'm sure Lex will be just as thrilled to have one less super in the world," he finished with a smirk towering over Kara. He gripped Kara's shirt collar and drug her to the balcony.

"The whole world will see you're weak. They will know that even a god can bleed,"

Before the impact of the knife could make it into ker chest, Lena unsealed the panic room, grabbed the closest thing to her and smacked the man across the back of the head. He dropped Kara on the edge of the balcony and stumbled back.

"There you are Ms. Luthor. I've been looking for you." the man said with a grimace. "You'll pay for that," He finished as he made a move for Lena.

Kara grabbed him with as much strength as she could muster and tried to take him down again, but it didn't work. He threw her off him in one push.

"Why would you try to save her? She is nothing."

Kara looked at Lena with a small smile, and an apology in her eyes. "For those I love, I will sacrifice." and with those Words Kara again tried to take the man down.

…

The world was in slow motion. Lena tried to run to Kara, to do anything to save her. But she was too slow, the man had already hammered the knife into Kara's chest. Lena felt her heart drop, and just like that her world had toppled on top of her. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She ran to Kara, and held her head in her hands. The man stood above them and laughed.

"Kara, don't you do this. You stay with me!"

Kara wasn't responsive. It was too late. The kryptonite had killed her. The kryptonite Lena had made. She felt the cold metal of a gun against the back of her head, and she just breathed. She accepted her death as tears streamed down her face.

A shot rang out, and shortly after a thud.

Lena opened her eyes and was shocked to see that she was still in fact alive.

"Kara" she heard Alex whisper in the softest tone. Lena looked to her side and the man lie there, dead.

"Sh- She's not responsive. The kryptonite is too potent." Lena said emotionless to the room.

"She's gone," Lena turned to look at Alex. Their eyes met and simultaneously they broke. There were no tears just hard movements and stoic faces. They moved Kara onto a stretcher and into a DEO ambulance. Lena sat empty next to Alex on the way there.

" _I killed her. She's gone. My whole world,"_


	2. Chapter 2

The world was still in slow motion as Lena sat in the ambulance. She faded in and out of awareness. She caught some of the phrases that Alex was barking at the other DEO EMT's, but most of it she didn't pay attention to. Kara still laid there motionless. Alex was trying to remove the kryptonite so she could save her, but if she removed the blade she would bleed out before they made it to the sun lamps. Jonn offered to fly her back to the DEO, but Alex was worried that any unnecessary movement of the blade would make it worse.

Lena only snapped out of it when the ambulance stopped and Kara was rushed into the DEO medical bay. Lena sat outside, still in a trance.

" _I can't believe she's gone. I did this, -"_

"Lena?" Winn approached her with soft words and kind eyes. Lena looked up to meet his eyes, and they shared a moment of fear. No words needed to be spoken, they both understood what the other was feeling. So, they sat in silence outside the med bay and waited. For something, for any kind of hope that Kara would survive this.

…

Alex yelled out orders in as calm a manner as possible, but when it came to her sister she always had a tendency to lose her cool.

"Get those lamps ready to turn on now! The second we pull this thing out they need to be full force," Alex set up the case for the kryptonite, and anxiously waited for the final steps to be done.

She looked around the room, it helped to see that everyone else was scared too. She got the go-ahead from the people operating the sunlamps, and she took a deep breath.

"On three," she looked at Kara and then at everyone else

"One," her gaze returned to Kara

"Two,"

"Three," and on that phrase, she guided the knife out of her sister's chest and put pressure on the now open wound. The sun lamps were put into full strength mode, and slowly but surely the wound started to heal.

Alex had taken in a couple of deep breaths after making sure the recovery would go well and that there was no more kryptonite in Kara's system.

As the reality of the situation began to set on Alex she comes to the realization that the only kryptonite of that power came from one place, one person. Lena. Her face ran hot as she made her way out of the med bay to find Lena.

How dare she.

…

Lena and Winn had moved to the training room to try and get their minds off the thought of Kara dying. There was really no talking, it was more just they moved so that they could more freely sulk. Lena and Winn sat against the wall when Lena broke the silence.

"Do you think she'll ever be able to forgive me?"

"As Kara? Maybe. As Supergirl... I'm not sure." Winn said, carefully crafting his response to a loaded question. Lena looked into the distance and tried to imagine a world where Kara could forgive her as both.

"Maybe now that I know for sure that she is Supergirl, it'll be easier for us," Lena responded, giving herself false hope. She knew that she created more of the most dangerous substance on Earth and put Kara's life in danger. Lena made the most potent kryptonite there was, and now she is living the consequences. Even if Kara did survive, there was no way she would look at Lena the same again. There was no way any of them would.

"LENA!"

Winn and Lena jolted into attention when they heard Alex's harsh voice come echoing down the hallway that led to the training room.

"I'm going to let you handle that," Winn said and patted Lena on the shoulder as he made his way to the exit.

The second Winn left the room Alex barged in and it was evident by the look on her face that she was going to do one of two things. Arrest Lena, or kill her.

"Alex, I-"

"Don't," Alex growled through her teeth. Alex moved forward and her glance intensified as the eye contact got closer.

"You made more. You made more and you lied to us about having it." Alex said in a mixture of disbelief and anger.

Lena had begun to realize just how this conversation was going to end. She allowed Alex to lay into her so that Alex could unleash her feelings on someone. If Kara couldn't lean on Lena anymore, she wanted her to be able to lean on a semi-stable Alex. And for that, Lena had to accept that Alex needed to place blame on someone other than herself.

" _Alex is right for that, the only person who deserves the blame here is me_ ," Lena took every word Alex spat at her to heart, knowing that this is the price she had to pay for doing what she did to Kara.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself? You needlessly put Kara's life in danger, and for what? For some science experiment?" Alex finished her rant and tried to find an answer in Lena's eyes.

"This isn't what I wanted. I had precautions in place, I-" Lena stopped and avoided Alex's gaze.

"I'm sorry," Lena looked back up at Alex, there was no forgiveness there, no empathy. Alex scoffed at the apology and shook her head at Lena.

"I can't believe you. You know the only reason you're here is because ever since the last time Kara almost died, she told us if anything were to ever happen to her like that again, we were to brief you on her identity so that you could be here if she died. She cared about you Lena, she trusted you, and protected you several times over. And this is what she gets?" Alex let out a soft breath as she turned to leave.

Lena wanted to stop her and to try and make her understand. But even Lena didn't want to be on her own side right now, what right did she have to try and make others be?

…

Kara jolted awake with a dull pain in her side. She took a moment to observe her surroundings. She was in her apartment, but something felt off. It looked, different. The walls and all the furniture were gray and there were no windows, only curtains where the windows would be.

"What is this?" Kara questioned as she got up from the floor to investigate this curious imagination of her apartment further.

The pictures were blurry, and the air felt heavy. This was different than whatever coma Brainy had put her in earlier this year. There was a familiar feeling in her chest, like she had been here before. Seen this before.

Kara wandered over to her bed to sit down, and as she sat she noticed something on her nightstand. She picked up the framed photo of her, Sam, Alex, and Lena. She smiled at the memory, it was happy and warm. It had been taken at the Christmas party a couple of months ago and she loved the picture so much she had gotten it printed. She gave the same picture to Lena as a part of her Christmas present.

It then struck her that this was the only picture that wasn't blurry or dull. It was full of color. Kara then moved to her fridge to see if any of the pictures from there were dull too. All of them were, all but one.

It was a picture that Kara had taken of Lena during one of their lunch dates. She was looking off over the L-Corp balcony to the city below, and Kara couldn't help but capture that moment. That then prompted a picture war, one of which Kara won because James had taught her how to get good angles of people. Kara had several candid shots of Lena on her phone from that day, but that particular photo always made her smile.

Kara then made her way around her entire apartment to see if her theory was indeed correct. And it was. Every picture that had Lena in it seemed to be normal if not more colorful than before.

"What is this trying to show me?" Kara whispered.

…

Lena circled the DEO training room countless times after Alex had spoken to her. She didn't let her mind settle on one thought for too long though. Because it always led her to the same place.

Lena decided it was best she give her legs a break and she sat down on one of the various benches. She let her mind wander on countless thing and memories.

She thought of the time Kara and her had spent together and how she didn't realize that her and Supergirl were the same. She thought of Kara's precious smile, and her dimples that just seemed to lift her heart.

Lena put her head in her hand and let out a sigh. It was no use trying to escape the facts of the situation. Kara was in a coma, and no one knew how to wake her up. If she could even wake up at all. She stood and decided to make her way to the medbay, hopefully Alex would let her through to see Kara. And if not, well then she would wait until she could.

She made her way out of the training space and up the stairs, but before she could enter the medbay J'onn stopped her.

"Can I speak with you?" He asked in a quiet voice.

Lena nodded in response as J'onn lead her to the balcony. He rested his hands on the railing and sighed.

"Before you lecture me about hiding the kryptonite, I-" Lena started before J'onn cut her off.

"I understand why you did it, Lena." He said somberly, shifting to look at Lena. She was surprised at his honesty and even more so by his acceptance of her actions. She opened her mouth to speak but J'onn cut her off again.

"We did the same thing, we lied to Superman about having kryptonite. In the end, he got his wish. But still, sometimes I wish we had kept some of it." J'onn looked at Lena with understanding.

"I heard the stories, you know. About Supergirl and what the red kryptonite did to her. How she dropped Cat Grant off a building." Lena looked out into the city as she tried to imagine how horrible she must have felt afterward.

"That's part of the reason I made more." she continued, "That, and we can never be sure that there isn't some other ancient Kryptonian evil out there waiting to kill us all like the worldkillers."

"I understand." J'onn joined Lena in looking out into the city. " I know you care about her Lena."

"Of course I care, she's my best friend." Lena responded hoping J'onn didn't hear the falter in her voice when she said friend.

"She needs you, Lena. You ground her. After the decision she had to make last year, you and Alex pushed her to find herself again." J'onn left it at that and patted Lena on the shoulder.

"Don't forget that." he finished and began walking back inside.

Lena turned to thank him, but he was already gone. Lena smiled and made her way inside to go see Kara.

She walked into the medical bay and what she saw broke her heart. Kara was almost lifeless on the bed, but she could see the small rise and fall of her chest. Alex was in a cot at the other end of the room asleep. Exhaustion and worry covered her face. Lena tried to remember the last time Alex caught a break but she couldn't.

She made her way over to Kara and sat down in the chair next to her. Lena tried to speak but no word would come out. There was nothing she could say that would make Kara forgive her, no words to fully show how guilty she felt.

Lena let out a breath and placed her hand on Kara's. She began to weep, silently as she looked over Kara's face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," the words were barely audible, Lena had only been able to whisper them. She placed her head down on the side of the superhero's bed and let the tears fall to the floor.

" _Please wake up_."

 **A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I wrote the last chapter in a wave of inspiration and decided to put it on here to see if anyone liked it. Glad to see that y'all did! Let me know what you guys think of this chapter. Thank you guys for reading! Have a wonderful day/night!**

 **-Grayson**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey all, sorry about the extended wait! I've had some crazy tests in college. Anyway, I wanted to clear up that in this canon James and Lena never dated and are never going to. This is a longer chapter to make up for the gap in time. And also because I wanted to go more in depth about where Kara and Lena are in dealing with each others actions. This is how I would like the conversation between them to go, but I doubt it'll happen like that.

Kara continued to wander through her various pictures, and every one that had Lena in it was full of color. It brought a smile to her face to think of all those memories. She was truly the light of her life, her best friend.

" _Kara Danver's best friend_ ," she had to remind herself. Supergirl was still on bad terms with Lena, and that probably wasn't going to change anytime soon.

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, wishing that she hadn't asked James to break into Lena's lab. With hindsight she knew that it was a bad idea, and she knew that Lena was scared but so was she. That's why she was going to try and fight for Supergirl through Kara at lunch, but. Kara stopped pacing around.

"What happened?" Kara said as she realized she didn't remember anything after getting in the elevator at lunch with Lena. Kara made the decision to go to L-Corp and see if there were any clues there as to what happened and how to get out of wherever this was.

Kara made her way to her front door, she reached for the handle and turned it open.

She walked out into the similarly discoloured world. The sky was gray and it didn't quite look like normal everyday National City. Kara moved along and made her way to L-Corp. She thought it was probably best to not fly, because she still couldn't figure out exactly what was going on or whether or not she could use her powers.

Kara walked through the streets of national city and every once and a while there would be a glimpse of color, in all of their favorite places to spend time alone together. Which struck Kara as odd because the only color her apartment had was in the form of those pictures. Slowly as she made her way closer to L-Corp she realized that these places were not only their favorites, they were also where her and Lena had very meaningful conversations about their lives.

The booth of the chinese food place where Lena had opened up about how truly scared she was of her family and how hurt she was that Lex was trying to kill her. The space on the table where Kara held Lena's hand in comfort.

The patio table of the coffee shop where they spent almost a whole afternoon talking about why their favorite scary movie was better than the others. The pier where they sat out and ate ice-cream silently after Lena had a particularly hard day.

The steps of L-Corp where Kara had finally convinced Lena that she needed to go home and rest, and Lena just looked at her and thanked her for taking care of her. _Even when I don't want to take care of myself._ Those words hit Kara hard that night, she never wanted Lena to feel like that. That night she had brought her home and Lena had asked her to stay because she was worried she wasn't going to be able to sleep. So Kara stayed with Lena, they sat on her couch in a comfortable silence. Kara played with Lena's hair and for the first time in a while Kara felt content, happy even.

Kara almost told Lena who she was that night. She couldn't take lying to her best friend anymore and she knew the longer she waited the more betrayed Lena would feel.

She finally reached the L-Corp office, and everything was in dismay. There were ambulances and DEO vehicles in the street outside. The building looked rough and an unmoving cloud of smoke coming from inside the building sat heavy in the dead sky. Kara picked up her pace and made her way to the top.

She heard voices as she walked into Lena's office, and she busted in not knowing what to expect. Lena's office was torn apart, and continued to be by the fight that ensued. A couch flew into one of the men. She took in the scene and landed on a man, who was holding kryptonite. Lena's kryptonite.

Kara watched as the events unfolded and as Lena tried to save her. She fell as the knife went into her chest, as if she was reliving this moment again. Her skin boiled and her blood started to lose its pace, it came down until it chugged to a slow push through her veins. The memories forced themselves through her wound, and she had flashes of the fight she had just witnessed and the words she said before going unconscious.

" _For those I love, I will sacrifice,"_

Her heart was pounding in her chest in long intervals as she drug herself over to Lena who whimpered over Kara's body and the memory continued. Alex shot the man, and Lena was empty. Kara tried to talk to her, but she knew she couldn't reach her. They took her body off on a stretcher followed by the two shattered memory ended and Kara was left alone in Lena's destroyed office.

She sat there distraught on the floor for quite some time, she waited until she felt like she could breathe again and stood up. As more time passed she was able to take in the room. Everything was dull like most things here, except the couch and the flowers in front of them. Not really much color, but it was still a stark difference to the rest of the room.

Kara sat on the couch and closed her eyes. A heavy sigh left her lungs and she took in the memories that this place was filled with. The late nights, the lunch dates, and the goofy interviews. The first time they met was in that office. A small smile found itself on Kara's face when she remembered what Lena had said to make her become a reporter. Lena had pushed her to find a version of herself she didn't even know existed.

She hoped that she could find that person again, the person Lena saw her to be. Maybe Lena could forgive her, but Kara wouldn't be able to forgive herself for the betrayal of trust. They were both scared and made decisions based on that fear, but her heart broke as she faced the reality of the situation. She was stuck in whatever this place was, and Lena was out there hurting.

"I promised her that I would protect her," it was barely a whisper, but Kara voiced her thoughts as she stood. She sat on the same couch, in this office and told Lena that she was there for her not matter what.

Lena had told her that Kara Danvers was her hero. She should've told her in that moment who she was. All these places and memories tied into the best and most vulnerable moments she had with Lena. They all lead her to the conclusion she had already known and accepted. She needed to know the truth about Supergirl. And Kara was in love with her best friend.

"I'm coming home, Lena. Forgive me when I get there."

…

Lena woke up to find Alex on the other side of Kara in the same position as her. Kara's hand in hers and tear stains that marked her tired face. She was surprised she had let Lena stay next to Kara after the "chat" they had. Her eyes moved to land on Kara's still body. Her chest still rose and fell with her breathing but Lena still worried about her.

A fresh wave a guilt crashed into her as she took in her best friend's situation.

"I just wanted to protect everyone, in case anything were to ever happen again. I was scared and I thought I was protecting you too." she admitted softly into Kara's hand.

"She'll understand,"

Lena looked up to find that Alex was awake. She turned to look at Lena and her face softened.

"I'm sorry for earlier." She offered, Lena just nodded and looked away.

"I know it's hard for you too, Lena. I should've tried to understand." Alex continued.

"I should have been honest with you about the kryptonite." Lena admitted.

"We've all lied to protect someone." Alex said into the heavy room.

They both looked at Kara and then back to each other.

"I killed her Aunt, and then J'onn told her it was him. And I went along with it. But when it was all said and done I caved pretty quick." Alex smiled at the memory of what happened after.

"She forgave me, she still loved me even after what I had done. She understood that I was only trying to protect her. So when she wakes up, i'm sure the same will be true for you."

Lena looked up hopefully at Alex and smiled.

"I hope so." the air lightened in the room as the tension dispersed. They sat there for hours waiting for any sign that Kara would wake soon. Every once and a while Alex would get up and go check tests that she had run earlier even though she already knew the results. She would pace in the hallway outside of the room while Lena sat with Kara.

"Please come home Kara. Come back to me. I love you." Lena looked over Kara's face for any reaction, hoping that she could hear her.

Lena's hand still held hers, and slowly each of Kara's fingers reassuringly wrapped around Lena's.

"Alex?" she called for her and she entered the room.

"I think she's waking up," Lena's voice faltered.

Kara began to come to one step at a time. She brought her hand to her face and rubbed her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths before she opened her eyes to adjust to the light.

"You know, I should probably stop going into comas. I don't think it's healthy." Kara mumbled with her signature goofy smile.

Alex and Lena chuckled while they hugged Kara. They all broke into soft chuckles and happy tears.

…

It had been a couple hours since Kara first woke up. Alex had to run some final tests to make sure that she wasn't going to go all comatose again. Lena patiently waited outside while Kara and Alex talked.

Lena was being crushed under the weight of her anxiety. All she wanted was to talk to Kara, be with her. Tell her how she felt.

…

Alex walked over to kara and checked all of her vitals, everything seemed to check out okay.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Pretty rough, I don't think i'll be able to use my powers for a while. That stuff was pretty potent." Kara responded as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"That's understandable given the circumstance. I want you to stay under the lamps for at least another day for good measure, Okay?" Alex turned around to set down her stethoscope and light pen. She turned back to Kara and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You really worried me there for a second," she said softly, her eyes held so many unsaid worries.

"I know. And I know it was risky and reckless but I would do it again. Every time. For you, for Lena. Because-"

"Because you would do anything for those you love. I know. I'm not looking for an apology, I just want you to be more careful. Okay?"

Kara nodded and pulled Alex in for a hug.

"Alex, you need to rest too you know. When was the last time you slept?" Kara asked.

Alex had a knowing smirk on her face, "A while ago. You're right, I do need rest. While i'm gone promise me you won't leave and be all Supergirl without your powers again."

"I promise, now go get some sleep," Kara laughed as Alex walked out of the medbay doors. She shifted to lay back down in the bed when she heard a familiar voice.

"I wonder if she'll actually get any rest," Lena inquired as she watched Alex leave.

Kara sat up and gestured for Lena to come sit next to her. "I would hope so, she deserves a break."

They sat in silence next to each other for a long time. This was the first time one of these silences felt awkward. Kara reached out to grab Lena's hand and their eyes met. Lena silently gave permission for Kara to speak first.

"I'm sorry. For not telling you about who I am, and for losing your trust. I was scared and making irrational decisions." Kara navigated into the conversation head first. She didn't want to sugar coat the situation.

"I'm sorry too. I never meant for you to get hurt. I should've been honest with you and the DEO after you found out about the kryptonite the first time. I was scared too, I just wanted to protect people. I wanted to keep you safe if anything were to happen, but now. Well it seems like I ended up doing the opposite.." a tear trailed down Lena's face as she traced the still healing wounds on Kara's face.

Kara's hand grazed Lena's cheek. The two shared a glance of relief before pulling each other into an embrace. Lena sobbed softly into the hero's shoulder.

"I really thought I lost you there for a second," Lena said in small whispers between sobs.

Kara held her tighter because she can recall several times she had felt the same about her.

"Hey, I made a promise to you. That I would always be there for you. I'm not going anywhere." she released the embrace to move her hands to Lena's cheeks.

"And I know I messed up by not telling you my secret. I can't even say it was because of the DEO. I just wanted to keep you safe, because I didn't want you to be in even more danger. I never want you to think it was because of your last name."

Lena reached up and put the other woman's hands in hers. She held them tightly, wanting her to know that it's okay.

"After I asked you in the forest what your real name was, why did you say that it was dangerous for someone from my family to know your name?"

The words put a bitter taste in Kara's mouth, she regretted them as soon as she said them.

"I was trying to distance myself from you, I knew how dangerous this was for me. Reign had almost killed me before, and I knew if she had followed through that Alex would've told you. I wanted to make it easier on you. In hindsight that was probably the dumbest thing i've ever done."

Kara breathed in to try and stop herself from getting visibly upset with herself.

"It seems like I have a past of making poor decisions in regard to those I love." She finished quietly with the last word. She loved Lena, and she wasn't afraid of that.

Lena smiled as she raised her hand to push Kara's hair behind her ear, leaving her hand to rest on her cheek.

"While it eases my mind to know that you were trying to protect me, I think we definitely have to work on this self-sacrifice complex you have. Both with your life and your relationships."

The silence was tense with her statement. They both were aware that they needed to work through the past couple of months to get back to a relationship that was healthy.

"I love you too, Kara. You bring a light to my life that wasn't there before and is truly unique to you. You supported me when everyone was against me, and pushed back against your sister. At one point you were the only one on my team." Lena could feel the tears welling up but she blinked them back.

"You're intrinsically kind and empathetic. You are, and will always will be my hero."

Tears had begun to fall down Kara's face, and Lena's thumb caught them. She wiped her tears just as she had done for her. Their faces had gotten closer and Kara's tears made her eyes the color of crystals.

Slowly they inched towards each other. They could feel the other's heart beat faster as their lips floated ever closer. Kara glided her hands into Lena's hair, she felt her breath hitch as she closed the gap between them.

It was a soft, timid kiss. It felt like it was just them, like the past year just melted away, like Kara hadn't just almost lost her life. It felt normal almost, as if they were any other people. Their lips gradually unstuck but they both kept their eyes closed and foreheads touching.

Lena could feel Kara's heart through her hand, she opened her eyes to she that classic Danvers smile. She let out a faint chuckle and was met with another chuckle. The pair lost themselves in the other, they sat there for hours on end. They shifted to lay on the med bay bed, Lena found herself nestled in between Kara's body and her arm.

Kara placed a kiss on her forehead. They would talk, but for now they would rest and just be with each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Lines of light from the blinds settled on Kara's face as the Sun rose to break the edge of the horizon. Kara had always risen with the sun because it was her source of power. The room was silent as she began to stir from sleep, eyes flickering in the sunlight.

It had been a number of days since Alex had discharged her from the DEO med-bay. Alex had asked if Lena would stay with Kara for a while just to make sure there was no residual damage they couldn't see. Kara knew that she wouldn't be able to use her powers for a while but she had assumed they would be back by now. She tried not to focus on that and brought her mind to the still asleep woman next to her. Their bodies were intertwined together naturally.

Lena's features normally relaxed when she slept, but the memory of Kara's near-death stayed with her even as she slept. She would toss and turn in the night waking up several times, and every time Kara was there to comfort her, reassure her that everything was alright. Kara just held her in hopes that her physical presence would ease her subconscious, but of course, the dream ended how it always did with Lena waking up in a panicked state. Lena distractedly looked around to ground herself to her surroundings.

"Lena, it's okay. I'm here I'm okay." Kara made her voice barely audible so not to jolt Lena too much. Her hand found its place on her back as she rubbed circles to try and give her any kind of physical connection. It seemed to work because after a small while the other woman began to relax and her breathing started to return to normal.

Lena closed her eyes and continued to take in deep breaths as she regained a sense of calm. She turned her body so that she could lean into Kara's shoulder. Small tears gathered on her eye line.

They held each other for what felt like hours. Eventually, they found themselves shifting back into a cozy laying position as they both drifted between being awake and being dazed. Most days started like this for them, a nightmare then comfort.

While Kara had more physical wounds from the attack, Lena's psyche had taken quite the hit. Lena's been through a lot of trauma in her life, so she kept asking herself "why now?" Even though she knew why now, of all those times she had almost died she had never had to watch Kara die.

"Lena?" her name came out of Kara's mouth so smooth and relaxed it brought a smile to her face. Lena just hummed in response.

"As much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day, I do unfortunately have to eat like, an incredible amount of calories to live so.."

Lena laughed as Kara shifted to get out of bed.

"Pancakes?"

"Always."

Lena always enjoyed breakfasts with Kara, but this morning she just couldn't keep her mind in the moment. Every time she looked at her all she saw was the broken and bleeding Kara that haunted her dreams. The nightmares just kept seeming to get worse and worse and even though her hero was right there to comfort and reassure her they kept coming back.

"Le are you okay?" Kara asked looking for Lena's gaze.

Lena broke out of the trance she seemed to be in to meet Kara's eyes. "I-I don't know," she said unsure of how to put how she felt into words.

Kara slowly found her hands in Lena's and placed her forehead gently against the other woman's. Kara knew that Lena had a hard time expressing how she was feeling and knew the best thing to do was just be there with her in the moment. Small warm tears began to trail Lena's face as she let herself break into Kara's embrace.

Their entangled hands moved to embrace one another as the sobs grew heavier. Their embrace grew tighter as time dragged forward. Kara hated seeing the woman she loved so upset. She wished she could say or do something to make it easier but she knew that this wasn't an easy fix.

Kara eventually led them to the couch where they sat holding one another in silence, something that over the last couple days had been happening quite frequently. She knew that this conversation would need to be started by Lena, Kara wanted to make sure she was ready.

"My nightmares. They are staying with me even when I'm awake," Lena said hoarsely as she stared at nothing in particular. Kara held her a little tighter to let her know she was there for her and was listening.

"It's not like I haven't been in life-threatening situations before though. I have, several times. It's just seeing you, basically dead. I can't get it out of my head." Lena's breath picked up, but she tried to remain in control of her breathing. She had to talk to someone.

"I just feel like I can't do anything to protect you. Every piece of technology I create can be used against you. I'm smart enough to save the world but when it came down to the person I love most, I felt useless." the air around them was heavy with the weight of those words.

For a while, they just sat. Kara trying to figure out something to say, Lena trying to not break again.

"The technology you create is so important to the betterment of this planet, Lena. The people that pervert your works of good will never change the fact that the sole purpose of whatever you create is to be used for good." Kara started slow so as to not overload her.

Lena didn't need to see the look in her best friend's eyes to know her words were genuine.

"Lena, you may not feel like you are able to physically protect me, but you are the only person who can protect me from myself. Every time I have been down on myself or my anxiety has been overwhelming you were right there to help me through it."

Kara let that sink in before continuing. She told her every moment where she has felt safe and loved and protected by Lena's presence.

"And I know that it has been hard to process everything especially when you haven't gotten any space to take anything in but I hope you know that whenever you are ready for that space I won't fight against it. You deserve the world and all of the precious things in it. And no matter how much time it takes I will be here. I am here for you, Lena."

Those words hit a particular chord in Lena. She was worried that when she eventually asked for a period of time to process Kara's secret that Kara would want to do the opposite, so hearing that she wouldn't fight against it eased some of her anxiety.

There was still this overwhelming cloud guilt that hung over Lena. She knew that if she continued on without reaching out for help it wouldn't make anything easier for them. All she wanted was to move on from this and start the new adventure that would be being in a relationship with Kara Danvers, but it would take time and she's glad Kara understood that.

"Thank you, Kara." Those were the only words to come out but she wanted to say so much more, but she couldn't she couldn't seem to find the words. The tension that had lingered from their secrets began to untangle and release. There were still some things to work through, some hurt to unburden, but this was a step toward a better tomorrow. A better them.

The next couple of days took on the same routine it seemed. Wake up. Nightmare. Comfort. Have tough conversations about the last year and the toll it took on their relationship. There was a lot to unpack and the conversations they had just kept leading to other boxes that Lena had forgotten she created.

Kara had admitted that she was acting irrationally, apologized profusely, and opened up about how she struggled with the implications of kryptonite and how made her face her own mortality and how that scared her. It made her feel weak and if she was weak she couldn't protect people. She did realize that having it is necessary because if anything happened she would want the people she loved to be protected from her.

It opened old wounds of red kryptonite and brought up the burden that Kara holds on her shoulders: because she has power, she has a responsibility to the world. Without the ability to be Supergirl who was she? Kara left her identity struggle to herself because she felt that was something for another day.

Lena also apologized for her actions from the past year, she had become cold after she lost trust for Supergirl. That coldness was further by their spats throughout her time at the DEO whilst dealing with Reign. Some of the barriers that were built had become to come down as they talked through the real reasons they started to fight.

Lena had felt betrayed by Supergirl and then by Kara when she revealed herself through sacrifice. Now that she knew the secret everything made sense, she understood why things were said because that's how Kara copes.

They both had a newfound understanding of the other because the biggest obstacle for their relationship was the secret and now that that was gone, they could heal and move on from the hurt they cause one another. And they were in a better place for it.

They had both been dreading Alex giving Kara a clean bill of health because that meant it was time for them to leave behind the domestic bubble they had been living in for a week. It was decided that when everything was cleared they would both take some time and some space to process the situation by themselves.

"I know we decided this and that it'll be good for us, but it'll be weird not waking up to you in the morning." Kara handed Lena's bag to her as they made their way to the front door.

"We'll be okay. I promise." Lena smiled and reached for the other woman's embrace.

When they finally broke apart, Kara placed a kiss on Lena's cheek. The two women smiled to each other as Kara opened the door.

"I'm only a call away,"

"I know,"

Kara closed the door and her hand lingered over the handle. She knew that this was important for them, but that didn't make it any less hard. She wandered over to the couch to find a familiar piece of clothing with a note attached.

It was Lena's M.I.T sweatshirt and the note read: _See you soon, don't forget me. -Love, Lena._

The gesture put a smile on Kara's face as she slipped the sweatshirt on because she knew that across town, in Lena's apartment was her own college sweatshirt that she let Lena borrow during a movie night some time ago.

"See you soon," she whispered into the note before she stuck it to her fridge.

She knew that while not seeing her was going to be rough, but in the end, it would all be worth it to spend her life with the one she loved.

A/n: Sorry for the wait! College has got me all kinds of screwed up. This isn't the end of this story even though it might seem like it. Leave some feedback if you want! Have a good day!


	5. Chapter 5

Lena is grateful that she spent the week in domestic bliss with Kara, but she needed time to decompress and process the events that occurred. Process the almost death of the love of her life and the revelation that happened moments before.

Over their time together they walked through Kara's reasoning for not telling her and for the most part they had come to an understanding that they both made mistakes but those mistakes were behind them. She didn't think she would need much space to process the secret after they spent day after day talking through all of the holes they found themselves in in the past year.

She wanted some alone time to recharge, but the more time she spent alone the more she realized what she truly needed was someone who understood. Someone who knew what it was like to see Kara essentially lifeless every time she closed her eyes.

There are only a handful of people that would be able to relate to her and only one of them she felt comfortable reaching out to.

She met Alex at her apartment. After everything that happened J'onn had made Alex take some time off to work through the latest family trauma.

They spent little time on small talk before Alex asked, "What do you really want to talk about Lena? Not that I don't want to talk to you, it's just you haven't ever really reached out to speak with me like this."

The tension in the room rose but Alex seemed to already know the answer to that question. Lena looked at fingers in her lap and hoped that would make the words easier to say.

"Every time-" her chest ached as she tried to speak, "Every time I close my eyes, I see Kara. She's on my office floor and there is so much bl- blood. And my hands are there but I can't help, because I know she's doesn't have much time," after she broke that barrier the words fumbled over one another. Lena tries to continue but Alex continues for her.

"And you can't wrap your head around the fact that she's bleeding, cause she _doesn't_ bleed. You're waiting for her to get back up and keep fighting because that's what she does, but she doesn't and you can see how painful it is for her to even breathe." Alex responded as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

Lena nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't get easier. Even though she's practically invincible, there are still things in this world that can kill her. It's hard watching her go off to some emergency not knowing if this is one of those days, but you aren't alone in dealing with that." Alex placed a hand on the other woman's shoulder.

Lena tried to blink the tears out of her eyes but it was already too late, but it eased her mind to see that Alex also couldn't keep them from spilling.

"Thank you, Alex."

"Of course. You're apart of the family, this is what family is for." Alex smiled.

"Don't tell anybody you saw me cry, Luthor," She said with a laugh.

"I wouldn't dare." Lena smiled back.

In the end, it's only about six days that Lena waits before inviting Kara back over. She opened the door and was immediately entrapped by a hug.

"Hey," Lena smiled as she closed her eyes and allowed her focus to go to the kryptonian's heartbeat.

"Hey," Kara whispered, relieved to hear the other woman's voice again.

They made their way to the couch, their hands intertwined. Lena finally felt like she was able to breathe again. They fell back into old habits so easily that it was difficult to imagine a time that they weren't like this.

The pair settled against each other, just happy to be in the other's presence. Relieved that they were on the path to a healthier relationship. As Kara pressed a kiss to the top of Lena's head, she whispered something that Lena couldn't quite understand.

"Hmm?" Lena hummed as she looked into Kara's eyes. They were soft and illuminated, and they saw her in a way no one ever could.

Kara repeated the phrase, "It's Kryptonian. There isn't really a good translation, but it means, 'I will love you eternally',"

"You have my heart, Kara Danvers. You always will."

 **A/N: Sorry it has been so long y'all, i've had some crazy stuff happen the last couple months. I'm doing better though.**


	6. Stronger Together

The early morning air was crisp, and it frosted the skyline as snow started to gather on the ground. The city was starting to awake, and its people slowly began their mornings.

Lena stood on the balcony of her apartment letting the air slowly fill her lungs. She observed the horizon of the city and wondered just how lucky she was to still be able to call this place home. Even though it wasn't easy, Lena thrived in National City. L-Corp was doing better than ever, she had friends who trusted and cared about her, and a certain superhero who would go to the ends of the Earth to prove just how much she loved her. Especially when her thoughts told her she didn't deserve it.

It had been almost eight months since Kara tried to sacrifice her life for Lena's, and the pair had taken their new relationship slow. After she talked to Alex and the two had reunited, they opened up about how the trauma stuck to Lena.

Intrusive thoughts had been a familiar face to her in the past, but after losing Kara it seemed like they were more of a tenant in her mind. They were no strangers to long and hard conversations after speaking about the secret, but this conversation wasn't based in hurt or betrayal. Fear was the backbone of this experience and Lena didn't want it to impact their blossoming relationship.

At first, Kara tried to reassure her that no matter what she would come home to her, that even though the city is her responsibility, Lena was a part of her home. The typical argument ensued about how that isn't always the case, and how the experience they just had proved that. The frustration grew but it cracked as soon as Lena explained that all she wanted was the hero to be more cautious. Afterall, the CEO understood that the hero had a sense of responsibility for the city and she had a job to do. She just wanted her to try and think before rushing into the next big catastrophe. Kara softened at her reasoning and agreed to be more tactful in the moment, however she wanted her to know that whenever it came to her family she didn't know if she could stick to that promise.

Lena blinked back tears when she realized that when she said _family_ it also meant _her._

She continued to listen as Kara told her about the aftermath of losing her planet and her aunt. The times she couldn't save everyone, and how Kara still had nightmares about losing her coworker under myriad. How even though Clark was still alive she felt like she lost him. The anxiety she felt when Alex had been kidnapped. Between the two of them they had enough trauma to last them more than their lifetime. The words _you aren't alone anymore_ were said more than once.

She was desperate for Lena to know why she has to do what she does.

Because, _I can't lose anymore. We can't lose anymore._

She reassured the hero that she understood why Supergirl is needed, and that _that wasn't what I was saying. You are more than just their hero, you're_ my _hero too. You kept telling me that I'm not alone, but do you understand that yourself? You don't have to carry the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders by yourself._

That seemed to be a breakthrough. She had heard stuff like that before, but for some reason it clicked. Lena wasn't sure if it was the Atlas reference that made it stick or the love in her own eyes, but nevertheless she was thankful for the realization.

Kara made a joke about how she _finally understood what Barry and Oliver were talking about_ , which earned her a scoff and a playful slap on the shoulder.

Even though Kara was kidding, it did give her the idea that maybe talking to someone else in a similar situation could help. Because even though Kara was well acquainted with loss, there is a unique type of loss that comes with being in a relationship with a hero.

She thought about reaching out to Lois, but Kara was unsure how Clark would react to their relationship, so she asked Iris and Felicity instead. They were a little hesitant at first but after talking to their perspective partners agreed to it. They all figured it would be nice to have a little support group. Felicity suggested they should get "wives of heroes' t-shirts eventually, which made Kara nervous laugh uncontrollably.

Kara eventually left them to their own devices to go _kick Barry's ass in Mario Kart_.

The group started off with short quiet meetings as Lena got aquatinted with the two friends. They started off sharing stories of being left to go save the city, laughing about the heroes always seemed to misplace one part of their suit or equipment, and doing bad impressions of their partners.

As time passed, they became more and more vulnerable with one another. Eventually sharing the stories of how their partners would try to push themselves away with the justification of how they were in constant danger if they were in their lives.

Eventually a time came where one of their heroes got injured, and they had an emergency gathering. The three were glad to have the support system that they grew together.

After that, they all sat down and confided in one another about their similar scares with death. Felicity, Iris, and Lena all broke down at one point or another. They all had several instances, but it helped to have someone that understood.

Kara could see the difference in Lena too. She was sleeping more, less paranoid, more herself. She was happier, and so was Kara. The past eight months had been a constant uphill battle, but it seemed to be easier when there was more than one person pushing.

The hero broke Lena out of her trance on the city with an embrace from behind, resting her head on the CEO's shoulder.

"What's on your mind?" Kara whispered softly into her shoulder.

"Just thinking about these last couple months. It's nice to be able to breathe again," she smiled into the kiss she pressed on Kara's head. She only received a soft hum in response.

"Who would've thought, huh? A Super and a Luthor in love."

"So unheard of it might as well be fate, dear." They shared a chuckle at that as Lena turned to face Kara placing her hands around the other woman's neck. Everything about the two was natural and relaxed, as they rested their heads together.

"Do you believe in that sort of thing?" Kara said half joking half genuinely.

"When it comes to us? Absolutely. I have no doubts that this is where we are meant to be." Lena brought her hand down to rest on the hero's cheek. Kara closed her eyes and nuzzled into the touch.

"Do you?" she followed up. The question wasn't anchored in anxiety, but curiosity.

Kara opened her eyes to meet Lena's and placed her hand over the one on her cheek. The look that was shared was one of pure love, the hero's face softened.

"After everything that's happened, I wouldn't believe anything elese. I may have been sent here to protect Kal, and I've grown to know that I was meant to protect this planet with him. But Lena, I believe Rao sent me here because this is how we were meant to exist. Together."

"Together," Lena matched softly, taking her other hand to Kara's chest. Where the crest would be if she was wearing her suit.

"El Mayrah," Lena finished.

"Stronger together. Always."


End file.
